Slayers Epiphany 1 Chimera For Sale
by BeautifulMissLulu
Summary: The rest of the group is reunited with Zelgadis.
1. Default Chapter

Slayers Epiphany: Episode 1: Chimera For Sale ---------------------------  
  
It had been weeks since Lina and Gourry had seen any of their other travelling companions.  
  
In all that time, things had been unsettlingly quiet, something Lina was very worried about.  
  
"Gourry," she asked, after the usual morning Breakfast Battle. "I think it's time we moved on. Things are getting pretty stagnant here and I need to kick some bandits' asses so we can get food for next week."  
  
"That sounds good to me," Gourry smiled. "Let's pack our things and be off. Uh, say, Lina?"  
  
"Yes?" Lina asked, cautiously.  
  
"Why are we going again?"  
  
Lina grabbed Gourry by the collar. "I told you. It's getting really dull here and there aren't enough bandits and monsters to make decent money from."  
  
"Oh," Gourry seemed to be finally getting it. Of course, this was all far too much to ask for. "Then, shouldn't we be going?"  
  
Lina's scream of frustration echoed down the street.  
  
*****  
  
The shackles clanked against the stone skin of the prisoner's wrists as he stumbled and fell, exhaustion making him clumsy and stupid for the moment. The group he was currently travelling with, very reluctantly of course, came to a halt.  
  
"On your feet," a man's cold voice sneered. "Now. Or I'll beat you again."  
  
~Go ahead,~ Zelgadis thought to himself, ~I can't feel it anyhow.~  
  
The man holding Zelgadis's leash lashed out furiously with the whip, the tip striking the chimera's stone skin again and again. Then, pausing to catch his breath, he muttered, "you'd better fetch me a good price after all the trouble you've been."  
  
"I'm not for sale," Zelgadis snarled. "Not at any price."  
  
"Listen, rock man. If I say you're for sale, you're for sale." he yanked Zelgadis's leash, dragging the reluctant chimera behind him.  
  
*****  
  
Gourry was delighted with his discovery. Lina would be so very happy when she learned what he had found.  
  
"Did you get the dragon burgers?" she asked.  
  
"Um... no..." Gourry said, cheerfully, "but I saw this thing that was on sale that looked just like..."  
  
"FIREBALL!"  
  
"Hey! That hurt!"  
  
"Get me my dragon burgers!" Lina howled. "I want dragon burgers with an extra large order of fries and a large shake and when I'm done with my appetizer, bring the rest of the menu."  
  
"What about that thing the guy's selling that looks like Zelgadis?"  
  
"Where?" Lina asked, figuring some one was selling little figurines of Zelgadis, but curious all the same. Little figurines could hold big magic."  
  
Gourry pointed in the general direction he'd come from.  
  
"Get the dragon burgers and meet me back..." Lina paused as visions of Gourry scarfing down the dragon burgers came to mind. "Never mind. Come with me."  
  
They got to the square where the auction was still going on.  
  
"Next up is this rare one of a kind Chimera," the man was telling his audience. "Caught in the wild, though he was once domesticated as one can tell by the style of his clothes and the fact that he is housebroken."  
  
Zelgadis had never been so humiliated in his life.  
  
"Our starting bid is 5,000."  
  
"5,200." A bidder shouted.  
  
"5,300." From another bidder. Though he'd barely sat down when a third bidder upped it to "5,500."  
  
Lina wished she could bid. Wished she could buy Zelgadis's freedom. If it had been any other time of the month, she might have risked fighting, but...  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis! I'll save you!" Amelia cried out from her perch atop the street sign near the auction block.  
  
~Oh, no...~ Zelgadis groaned inwardly.   
  
"In the name of Justice," Amelia cried out, "you shall suffer the consequences for trying to sell such a beautiful and sensitive and shy chimera for such a cheap price!"  
  
"Thanks a bundle," Zelgadis grumbled.  
  
"His purity alone should make him worth ten times the amount you're asking," Amelia went on.  
  
Zelgadis blushed at the mention of his virginity.  
  
"He's fought so hard to protect his virginity, and to stay pure as the freshly fallen snows, and you wanted to sell him for cheap! I Amelia..."  
  
She tumbled off her perch and landed on top of the man trying to sell Zelgadis. It wasn't the grand victory she'd been hoping for but...  
  
"Once again, justice prevails!"  
  
*****  
  
Zelgadis was glad to leave that city. Not only was the matter of his unusual rescue being discussed with mirth, but now tales were cropping up about the Virgin Chimera and his Legendary Purity. This was something Zelgadis could have done without.  
  
"Well, look at it this way," Gourry said, trying to cheer the forlorn Chimera up a bit. "At least you'll be remembered for your innocence and your goodness. Not like Lina, here who's usually remembered for all the trouble she causes" ".. or the damage she does with her spells," Amelia continued. "...or her really small breasts..." Zelgadis added,   
  
"Why you...!"  
  
Lina gave chase, but there was humor in her rage and her three companions laughed as they ran for their lives.  
  
(OWARI) 


	2. So You Want To Be Human

Slayers Epiphany Episode 2: So You Want To Be Human ----------------------------------  
  
"Did you have to tell everyone I'm a virgin?"  
  
"You should be proud of your purity, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia told him. "When you think of how all the other men in the land are just having sex left and right, and here you are, a paragon of virtue."  
  
"Wow!" Gourry said, happily. "I didn't know I was having sex. I hope I've been doing a good job." He went over to Lina, who was probably the girl he'd been having sex with, and made the foolish mistake of openning his mouth. "Say, Lina. I'm doing a good job, right? I mean, I make you happy when we have sex, right?"  
  
"We don't have sex," Lina told him.  
  
"Oh," Gourry fell to his knees and glomped her legs. "Please, forgive me. I must have been cheating on you."  
  
"Gourry," Lina said, evenly, "Amelia was exaggerating. She meant that ... oh, forget it."  
  
"Thank you, Lina." Gourry nuzzled Lina, pressing his head against her...  
  
*KICKZOOM!*  
  
"Wow! The view is great up here!" Gourry said, cheerfully, as he sailed across the horizon.   
  
*****  
  
The morning brought with it an unexpected and unwelcome visitor.  
  
"Okay, everyone! Rise and shine! All guys, gals, and virgin chimeras out of bed!"  
  
"And just how did you find out I'm a virgin?" Zelgadis snarled at Xellos.  
  
"Well, that," Xellos grinned, "is no secret."  
  
Zelgadis sulked as the others packed their gear. He'd packed the night before. Years of travelling in an attempt to find his cure had taught him to pack the night before setting out, so that he could be well rested when it came time to head out.  
  
"Pity about the cure," Xellos remarked. "Ah, well. You probably don't want it anyhow."  
  
"What cure," Zelgadis didn't trust Xellos. But he wasn't about to miss out on a cure.  
  
"The one for rust, of course," Xellos laughed. "Your hair could really use..."  
  
"MY HAIR IS *NOT* RUSTY!"  
  
"Oh, my," Xellos grinned. "Aren't we feisty. I can see why you have to fight to keep your virginity."  
  
Zelgadis turned to walk away, and was visibly stunned to find Xellos's hand suddenly on his ass. He spun around and sent Xellos flying with a well-thrown punch..  
  
*****  
  
"You again," Zelgadis grumbled as the group passed Xellos on the road a few miles away. "Must we always run into you?"  
  
"You're the one who punched me in this direction," Xellos grinned. "But, hey. No hard feelings. In fact, to show you how much I forgive you, I'm going to give you that cure. All you have to do is sleep with me."  
  
Everyone gaped.   
  
Would Zelgadis give up his virtue for a cure?  
  
Would the Virgin Chimera give in to temptation?  
  
Would Xellos successfully seduce the pure Zelgadis?  
  
"Would the author please stop making this sound like the trailer for a 50s B movie?" Zelgadis glared.   
  
The Chimera turned to Xellos. "You must be out of your mind." he told him. "Do you really think I'd give up my virginity to you?"  
  
"Which would you rather be, human or a virgin?"  
  
"I'd prefer to be both," Zelgadis replied. "At least until my wedding."  
  
"Oh, I see," Xellos chuckled. "So on your wedding night, you want to lose your virginity and turn back into a Chimera. Got it."  
  
"I do not want any such thing to happen on my wedding night!"  
  
"Right." Xellos made as if to cross of a note he'd written. "Prefers not to lose his virginity on his wedding night..."  
  
"AAAAARGH!"  
  
"Well, gotta run." Xellos grinned as he vanished once again.  
  
"Don't let him get to you, Zel'." Lina said, patting him on the shoulder.  
  
"I won't let him hurt you, Mr. Zelgadis," Amelia vowed.  
  
"Yeah, you were both a big help a minute ago." Zelgadis said, getting to his feet and walking away.  
  
"Where are you going?" Lina called out to him.  
  
"To find my cure," Zelgadis called back as he continued walking away until he was no longer in view.  
  
(OWARI) 


	3. The Road To Unhappiness

Slayers Epiphany Episode 3: The Road To Unhappiness Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers. I can't afford Lina. ---------------------------------- "Mr. Zelgadis?" Amelia asked as she followed him. "Don't you think you've looked for your cure enough?"  
  
"What are you saying, Amelia?" Zelgadis's voice was filled with dread. "Do you think I should just give up on ever being normal again?"  
  
"No," Amelia told him. "I'm saying you should have faith, Mr. Zelgadis. You should enjoy life, instead of using every waking moment to find your cure. I believe the cure is out there, and justice will prevail. If you're meant to find it, you will. You don't have to look for your destiny. It will find you. So just relax, smile, and have a bit of fun."  
  
"Easy for you to say," Zelgadis complained. "You don't look like a freak."  
  
"Neither do you." Amelia told him. "A freak is what happens when there is an abnormality in relation to the species."  
  
"And this," Zelgadis pointed at his own face, "is normal, is it?"  
  
"It's perfectly normal for a Chimera," Amelia smiled.  
  
"It's not normal for a human being," Zelgadis told her.  
  
"But, you're not a human being," Amelia pointed out. "Whatever you were in the past, you're a Chimera, now. A perfectly normal and healthy Chimera."  
  
"Why is it so important for you that I accept a body that I never asked for?"  
  
"It's important to me that you accept what's happened and adjust your life accordingly, instead of using up all your time searching for a cure. Mr. Zelgadis, you're missing out on so much, and I don't think it's right for you to lose out because you were spending your life doing just one thing. How do you know your cure won't be found in some unexpected place? I found an earring I'd lost once while I was out riding with my daddy and I fell off my horse. Don't give up, Mr. Zelgadis. Just don't let the search take up all your time."  
  
Zelgadis sighed. Amelia was right. He'd lost so much of his youth and had regretted all the things he'd not done because of his search for the cure.  
  
"Amelia," he asked, "if I were to stay, what would you suggest we do?"  
  
"Well, we're all going out on the boat later," Amelia smiled. "It'll be nice to enjoy the ocean breeze, don't you think?"  
  
"I'll be back in a little while," Zelgadis said, suddenly dashing off for town.  
  
****  
  
It had been nearly an hour since Zelgadis had left.  
  
"You ready, Amelia," Lina called.  
  
"Yes, Miss Lina," Amelia replied. "Just waiting for Mr. Zelgadis. He went into town an hour ago."  
  
"He probably ditched us again," Lina sighed.   
  
"Mr. Zelgadis wouldn't ditch me," Amelia told Lina.  
  
"Here he comes!" Gourry called out.  
  
Zelgadis, grunting and puffing, could be seen dragging a very large anchor down the path.  
  
(OWARI) 


End file.
